Why Introverts Make Great Speakers and Leaders [Executive Speaking Series]: Podcast Ep. 400

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Carol Cox:
Are you an introvert? Well, so am I. Hear how you can bring those strengths to your speaking and leadership on this episode of the Speaking Your Brand podcast.

Carol Cox:
More and more women are making an impact by starting businesses, running for office, and speaking up for what matters. With my background as a TV political analyst, entrepreneur, and speaker, I interview and coach purpose driven women to shape their brands, grow their companies, and become recognized as influencers in their field. This is speaking your brand, your place to learn how to persuasively communicate your message to your audience.

Carol Cox:
Hi there and welcome to the Speaking Your Brand podcast. I’m your host, Carol Cox, joined again today by our lead speaking coach, Diane Diaz. Hi, Diane.

Hi, Carol.

Carol Cox:
Can you believe that this is episode 400 woo of the Speaking Your Brand podcast, right? I mean, I don’t even like if you really sit back and think about 400 individual pieces of content. I don’t think I’ve done anything else 400 times.

Diane Diaz:
That’s incredible. That’s astounding actually.

Carol Cox:
And you’ve been obviously a part of so many of those episodes, and which has been exciting. But I really just want to thank all of you who have listened, whether you have found this podcast relatively recently or found it in the past year, and I even know there are some of you who have been listening since the very beginning. So thank you so much for being part of the speaking brand community, for listening, for sharing episodes that you really like, for emailing me when you listen to an episode that resonates with you and for becoming clients and working with us. So this episode we are going to be talking about why introverts make great speakers and leaders. This is the final episode in the series we’ve been doing all around executive speaking. Whether you’re an executive at a company or you’re an entrepreneur, this series has been geared around helping you to develop your executive presence, your storytelling skills as a leader, and how to effectively communicate change. Whether you’re communicating change to a team, an organization, or to your audience. So, Diane, do you consider yourself an introvert?

Diane Diaz:
100%.

Carol Cox:
Okay, as am I. And I find that so many of the women that we talk to, they tend to think being an introvert as a speaker is a disadvantage to them. And so that’s what I wanted to do this episode with us to talk about our experiences as being introverts, but as speakers and really a lot of the strengths that introverts have that they can bring to the stage to their audiences. And so I feel like there’s a common misperception that most speakers are extroverts, perhaps because we see them on stage. So we see see speakers that we may classify as really charismatic or energetic or engaging. And we think that as introverts were not those things, but we are. We may just portray them differently. And from my very unscientific survey of all the different women and speakers I’ve talked to over the years, I have found that I would say well over half of them are introverts. Have you found the same?

Diane Diaz:
Absolutely. Clients say that to me all the time. And I think and I think you’re right, I think it’s because when you see someone on stage, you just assume they’re an extrovert. I think also a lot of the well-known speakers that we know that get, you know, get paid a lot of money to do these very public events also, then have social media teams. And so they’re putting out all this content, which makes it seem like the person is out there a lot more, which makes them seem like an extrovert.

Carol Cox:
Yes, I agree with you that. And this is kind of one of the differences we’ll talk about between being an introvert and extrovert. And there is no right or wrong. There is not one is better than the other. It’s just different. So it’s different how we show up as speakers. Also what we need, how we need to take care of ourselves, especially after a speaking engagement or after attending a conference, which may look different than what extroverts do as well. And so if you’re new to speaking your brand, welcome! We’re so glad that you are here. We work with women entrepreneurs, professionals and leaders to develop their thought leadership message, create their signature talk, and put themselves out there as sought after speakers. Now, one of the things that has helped a lot of the women that I’ve talked to is to take our speaker archetype quiz, because it’s fun, it’s free. It’s just ten multiple choice questions, and then you’ll find out which of the four speaker archetypes you are that we’ve identified. Now, this doesn’t have anything to do with introversion or extroversion, because really you can be any of the four, but it helps you to understand where your natural communication strengths are and then how to amplify them.

Carol Cox:
So you can take that free quiz as speaking your Brand.com slash quiz. Now, Diane, I know that at the beginning of this year, we made a commitment to go to a lot more events than we have been because of the pandemic. Obviously, the first couple of years, the pandemic, we didn’t really do much of anything. And then like 2022 was slow. Getting back out there, 2023 was slow getting back out there. And so the beginning of this year, we’re like, okay, we really need to show up locally again, get back involved in the community, which we have been very involved before the pandemic. And, you know, I really have enjoyed going to all different types of events. I have learned which types of events feel better to me, and we’ll talk about that because I think this is important as an introvert. But also showing up at events as an introvert isn’t always easy. So we’ll share some tips about that as well. But before we do that, I know that Diane, you grew up not only as an introvert, but also relatively shy as a child, as did I. And I feel like, again, for a lot of people that they feel like, well, why would you become a speaker then? Like, doesn’t that seem weird that you would want attention on you? You would want people looking at you? And I think this is why people confuse introversion and speaking.

Carol Cox:
Because for me, becoming a speaker and this was all the way back with joining the debate team in high school through what I the speaking that I did in college and even early in my career to today, is that what I call my life hack was to become a speaker? This way, when I was at an event, people would come up and talk to me because I had the little name badge on that, said speaker. So a lot of people want to talk to the speaker there before or after, so I didn’t have to be the one to break the ice, because networking situations feel very awkward and uncomfortable to me. And so I didn’t like to have to to go into those situations. I’ve gotten much better at it over the years, although I still don’t love it. So, Diane, number one, can you relate? And number two, why becoming a speaker fit with you as an introvert?

Diane Diaz:
Yes. Now I can 100% relate with that. Carol. Um, and I think, you know, I was painfully shy when I was young, bit painfully shy, literally scared of my own shadow, and didn’t not want to be noticed. I wanted to just fly under the radar. But I will say that I did start to come out of my shell, probably in my early 20s. When I was in college, I started working at a grocery store as a cashier, and so it was sort of a nice fix for my shyness, because the policy of the store was that you had to talk to every customer. So it wasn’t that I wanted to, it’s just that I had to write. So it kind of forced me. And then when I mean running the cash register, someone’s coming through my line. They usually initiate the conversation, which is great. I don’t have to initiate it. Right. So it sort of forced me to start to talk to people more and come a little bit out of my shell. I’m still an introvert. I can definitely relate to that. But then as far as speaking goes, I think that for me, speaking is a way of sharing a message without, you know, there’s a purpose to it, right? So when you’re asked to speak somewhere, you’re there for a reason.

Diane Diaz:
So you’re not just randomly talking to people. You’re there for a reason. People want to hear from you. They’ve literally asked you to come there and share. And so I feel much more comfortable in that environment. I feel comfortable on stage speaking, more comfortable there than I do, actually just going to networking events. So I’d much rather be the one on the stage because again, there’s a purpose now going to events, I have gotten more comfortable. Like you said, there’s certain events I like. I’ve gotten more comfortable doing that. There are strategies for that, which I’m sure we’ll get to. But, um, I definitely think that speaking is I think it’s especially good for introverts because it does give you a purpose for what you’re saying. And so it doesn’t feel as uncomfortable as just randomly walking up to someone and starting to talk to them.

Carol Cox:
Oh yes, I really like this idea of purpose. It also makes me think of that we feel like we have a role at that event, so we don’t feel like we’re just floating there, kind of like, okay, we’re supposed to chat with people, but we don’t really know why or what they’re gonna or like, why do they want to talk to us? What am I going to say to them? Like small talk. It feels awkward. So it’s like, okay, we have a role, we have a purpose for being here, and we know, we know what our role is. And I think maybe it’s the undefined nature of just networking events that makes us less comfortable. Yes.

Diane Diaz:
And when I’m the speaker, even if I get there ahead of time and I might be networking beforehand, it’s a nice in because I can introduce myself and say, oh, I’m the speaker today, so I don’t it isn’t about, you know, necessarily what I do or having to think of something clever to say to them, or it’s just the natural opener, so it feels so much more comfortable.

Carol Cox:
Yes. All right. Yeah. So for those of you listening again, if as an introvert, just think about being a speaker gives you that role. And if you’re if you’re going to an event and you’re not a speaker, still go to events again, we’ll talk about some more strategies. But maybe either volunteer for that event so that you have a role as a volunteer, as a as a guide, as someone who’s helping to set up or to greet people. So I think also giving yourself a role either explicitly through that organization or even just in your mind and tell yourself, oh, I’m the welcome committee. And they may not know that, but if you tell yourself that, that can also help.

Diane Diaz:
Absolutely.

Carol Cox:
Okay. So let’s just briefly talk about what introversion is and what extroversion is. So we kind of understand what this is. So not does not mean that you’re shy if you’re an introvert. Now you could be an introvert and shy at the same time, but it doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing. Oh, this reminds me. So I was just at an event recently and it was about a half day event. So they had a variety of speakers, and there was one guy who was speaking towards the end, and he was very warm and and great message. A good speaker like had great stories. That’s what made him a great speaker, because he had good stories. And he said at one point he’s like, you know what? I’m an introvert. I’m standing here in front of you all, but I’m an introvert. And that just means that when I’m done here today, I’m going to go have some alone time so I can recharge, he said. It doesn’t mean that I’m socially inept just because I’m an introvert. It just means that I need that alone time either in beforehand and after hand. And so that’s really what introversion means, is that we gain energy being by ourselves. And so we need to make sure that we’re we’re giving ourselves that space. And sometimes we find a lot of social interactions or a lot of social simulation draining. If we don’t have that balance with that alone.

Carol Cox:
Time versus extroverts tend to gain energy from social interactions and a lot of social stimulation, and they may find being alone draining. So that’s the difference there between introversion and extroversion. So it doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re socially inept, although sometimes I feel that way. It depends on the event. And so the other thing that I thought was interesting about introverts, because I was doing some research for this episode, is that sometimes introverts do tend to get more performance anxiety before speaking at events and extroverts, perhaps, again because of that social simulation. So that’s something to keep in mind. And so and the other thing is that and I think, Diane, we have found this for sure in the the different presentations and talks that we’ve delivered over the years, and even with the the way that we run our thought leader Academy and our in the client work we do is that we really prefer deep conversations. We really prefer going in depth on topics versus kind of more superficial. We like meaningful conversations, and this is why we talk a lot about making sure you have those stories in your talks and that emotional message, and that you’re going deep in your thought leadership message and not just doing the superficial. And I don’t know, Diane, have you found the same just, you know, in the work that we do with our clients as well about this preference for deep, meaningful content?

Diane Diaz:
Absolutely. Because I feel like that speaks to that kind of that purpose. Again, the purpose for the work that you do. Right. And so if it if it is, you know, working with hundreds of or thousands of clients just on a very superficial level and never really digging into it, I’m sure that can be great. But for me, it’s not as fulfilling and doesn’t tap into that need for making a deeper connection with the person kind of on a one on one basis. So I love that the work that we do incorporates both a group dynamic and then a, you know, individual one on one dynamic, because then we get the opportunity to dig in deeper. And I always enjoy. It’s so interesting to me, and maybe partly because I am an introvert, to learn about what other people do and what you know, the work they do. And I’ve worked with some clients on their VIP days that had some jobs that I would never, ever even remotely as hard as I tried to ever be qualified to do. And it took me, I actually would do homework just to understand what they do because I, I like to understand it and it’s complicated stuff. So I just find that fascinating. And then it really makes me feel more connected to them and like I’m better able to help them, which fulfills me. Right? So it does. You know, I don’t need to be the expert on that, but I can learn about it and then help them look like the expert on it. Right? So I just love that deeper feeling. And I think it is part of that introversion.

Carol Cox:
And that reminds also brings to mind that as introverts, and I think this is what makes us great speakers and great leaders, is that we are very keen observers. I think that’s part of the nature of being introverts. So we tend to be quieter. In a sense. I think it’s because we’re observing a lot of what’s going on around us and kind of processing it. And so to your point, when we work with our clients in that one on one VIP day, we get we spend three hours, 3.5 hours with them, just asking them questions, talking through ideas, kind of getting their all their ideas in a coherent message for them. And we have to be really great listeners. In order to do that. We have to observe. We have to kind of step back and see the bigger idea of all the things that they’re sharing with us and then by extension, as speakers, when we’re in front of an audience, whether it’s an audience of 20 or 30 people or even an audience of several hundred people, I feel like as introverts, we’re good at observing the dynamics of the audience, the energy of the audience, you know, kind of what’s going on, what do they need to how do we need to adjust in the moment in order to serve the audience that we’re in front of?

Diane Diaz:
Yes, I agree with that. I wonder too, and I don’t have any research to back this up, but I would be curious to know if most introverts are, um, have a lot of empathic ability like pick up on because I feel like I pick up on energy in the room. I pick up on just energy when I’m talking to a person. And so and I think that from an introvert standpoint, I think that’s part of what can exhaust me as an introvert is the fact that I’m picking up on things that other people may never even pick up on, so I’m picking up on so much more, and it’s feels like a job, right? Sometimes it feels like a job because I have to be aware, like my my spidey senses are always going off about not necessarily bad things, but just like everything, right? So I’m, I’m picking up on interactions between other people that I’m not even part of the energy of the room, the energy of the, the organizer, everything. And so but I do think that that makes for a really engaging speaker.

Carol Cox:
Yes. Oh, that is so true about just like we almost can’t help it, but like our brains are process constantly processing what is going on around us with the people that we’re interacting with directly. But even this people all around, I remember when I was in fifth grade, so this was, you know, last year of elementary school and in our fifth grade classroom, we would have like four students to a big desk, right? We each have like our little desk with a little like drawer that we could put stuff in, right? So we can picture it in my mind and I and, you know, and I and I love school like you did Diane. Right. Like it was, you know, this place where I, you know, we felt like we could be ourselves and and have that sense of, you know, safety and curiosity and all of that. But I remember so again, I love to read. I think introverts also like to read because it gives us that alone time. So during breaks between stuff, I would often be reading a book. No, no surprise. And of course I had friends that I would chat with them, but I probably really preferred the book. But one time my teacher, his name is Mr. Johnson, said to me, he’s like, Carol. He’s like, I can tell you, you know exactly what is going on with every single kid in this classroom. You know, all the social dynamics, you know who is friends with who you know, you know, you know everything. Because I can see how observant you are. And I never and I said, that has stuck with me to this day. And I think you do the same thing.

Diane Diaz:
Oh, for sure, I can. I have such sensitive intuition about people that, you know, any time in my life when I’ve met a new person or someone’s introduced me to somebody, you know, if I’ve picked up a weird vibe it all, I would say 99.9% of the time. I am correct about whatever the vibe is that I get about a person, and so it’s great. But again, it is also very exhausting because it’s just constantly, constantly filtering, you know, data coming in. So sometimes I’d like to turn that off. Yeah. Yeah.

Carol Cox:
Really. And then, you know, again, think about not only as speakers but as leaders. If you’re leading a team within your own company or a team, if you work for a company, you have a team that you’re responsible for or colleagues think about. As an introvert, you may not be the loudest person in the room or the rah rah person in the room, but you probably really understand those team members and what motivates them, you know, or what what they need in order to perform better and really, truly using those listening skills and observation skills to help them to do that. So, Diane, you mentioned also earlier, which I thought was really fascinating about when we were talking about this. We prefer deep, meaningful conversations and content, whether it’s presentations we’re delivering, the work that we’re doing with our clients. And then I think about social media and how much we don’t enjoy social media. We use LinkedIn because it is very much a professional network whose algorithms do not prioritize extroversion. Let’s say it that way. Think about Instagram Reels TikTok, right? I think that’s why those have never taken for us. Why we don’t like. Sure. Could I force myself to create content for it? Maybe for a week, but I probably wouldn’t keep up with it because it truly doesn’t feel authentic to me. And I’ve always wondered over the years, like, why can’t I just do this? Why can’t I just be like, quote everyone else and just get this content done? But I can’t, and I think maybe it’s because we’re introverts.

Diane Diaz:
100% agree with that. It feels very it’s almost like for me trying to speak a different language, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t know how to do it. And I am almost resistant to wanting to learn. I actually do want to learn another language, but but learning how to do TikTok or learning, you know, how to leverage Instagram. I’m like, it feels really inauthentic for me. It feels it just feels like I would have to be someone else. And I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to not be myself.

Carol Cox:
Yeah. So for those of you listening, if you are also an introvert and you feel like us where you’ve tried social media and it just doesn’t feel right, you know, give yourself permission that it may not be the right channel for you. And that is okay. We don’t have to do what everyone says we’re supposed to do or we think we’re supposed to do. But if you enjoy public speaking again, because it’s like, even if you’re an audience of 5 or 600 people, it still feels more intimate and more of a direct connection than an Instagram feed or a TikTok feed. Does. I mean, Diane, I’ve spoken to audiences of over 500. I know you have as well, and we can still do it. And it doesn’t. It still feel much more connective than anything that we’ve put on social media.

Diane Diaz:
It feels so intimate because, you know, I, I’m speaking to this huge group of mostly people that I don’t know, and yet somehow I feel connected to them because, well, I guess because they’re all looking at me. I’m up there and I’m speaking and they’re all looking at me, and I feel a responsibility to share something with them that’s meaningful. You know, they’ve given their time to me, and now I want to give something back to them. And it feels like an intimate exchange in that way. And I like I like that I’d always the other thing is that that speaking engagement is that one moment in time, whereas Instagram just keeps going and TikTok just keeps going. And you can never be up to date on anything because it’s just constantly changing. Right? But that the speaking engagement that you do is that one moment in time, that’s the only time that that happens. And sure, they might have a replay video or whatever, but everybody’s there in that one moment together. That’s what feels so intimate to me.

Carol Cox:
Oh yes, that’s a great point. This is also why I love podcasting and why I decided to start a podcast all those years ago, and why we both enjoy either interviewing people on this podcast or being guests on other podcasts. Because number one, we’re having a one on one conversation live and, you know, with with the other person. But then also podcasting by its very nature is an intimate medium because you’re just listening in your ears. You’re not distracted by a whole lot of other visuals.

Diane Diaz:
Oh yes, I love podcasting for that reason. I think, you know, I think for any, any introverts who are listening, in addition to speaking, starting a podcast could be a really great way to get your message out because it is very intimate and yet you, as the introvert, have the control over what the message is. Speak directly to your audience directly in their ears, and it is very engaging.

Carol Cox:
And that’s one of the tips that we have for you to develop your speaking skills as an introvert is definitely guest on podcasts. Consider hosting your own podcast. I have thought about it, Diane. Through all of the group programs and the Thought Leader Academy we’ve run, we have probably midwifed been godmothers to maybe ten podcasts that clients have started, you know, with our encouragement and like, we’re not podcast producers, so we don’t do the technical like, you know, they find the people for that. But we have definitely helped give them the inspiration and the support to go put themselves out there as podcast hosts. And I am so I’m so, oh, I know.

Diane Diaz:
That’s so nice to be connected to that idea. I love it.

Carol Cox:
So the other thing that do develop your speaking skills is to challenge yourself with different types of speaking. And this is not necessarily easy because once we like master one type, we just want to again, just be comfortable and and stay there. If you really are comfortable with very prepared speaking, challenge yourself with more impromptu speaking. I did an episode all about impromptu speaking skills back in episode 390. So do that also Also, if you tend to do long presentations like you like the hour or so, try experimenting with shorter presentations vice versa. If you tend to like shorter, try longer or workshops. So get yourself a little bit out of the comfort zone to start practicing with these different types of speaking. The other thing to do is LinkedIn lives. Now that does incorporate video as well as obviously audio, but it’s a great way to just get yourself over the hump of especially video content and invite someone to be on the LinkedIn live with you. It’s so much easier to have a conversation or interview them than to just sit there and stare at the camera by yourself.

Diane Diaz:
Yes, 100% agree with that. You know, I think the thing too, that I like about LinkedIn lives is that and this speaks to how we kind of operate as introverts is. And I’ve always been like this. I would much rather be part of a socially part of some small group get together, versus I don’t really enjoy large group events or get togethers socially, because they just do feel so overwhelming for me. But I if somebody is like, oh, meet me and a couple of my friends. Yeah, I love to do that because it does feel more manageable for me from an energy standpoint, and it’s more intimate. And I think LinkedIn lives are like that as well. It’s like a little intimate presentation. And it’s not like the TikTok and Instagram where it’s you have to just do a ton of content. No, you just create the one LinkedIn live or you do them once a week, once a month, whatever the frequency is. And you still get the ability to put content out there, but it’s it’s in a controlled way that can, you know, fit with whatever your style is. As an introvert, I like that.

Carol Cox:
Yeah, I so do I, and this is why when our thought Leader Academy clients are getting ready to graduate, we have them do a LinkedIn live where we host it, and then they deliver about ten minutes of the signature talk that they worked on with us, because we want the number one to have a deadline to put to actually deliver part of the signature talk, but then also to give them the practice to be on something like a LinkedIn live, if they haven’t had much experience with that either. So we’ve done some of those this year. You can scroll back in your podcast feed and find those. And then we have some coming up with our next batch of clients who are getting ready to graduate. So Diane, let’s talk about some tips for attending events. You mentioned that larger events are not quite as appealing to you as smaller, more intimate events. I concur 100%. This is why when we do in-person retreats and workshops, we limit the number of women to about 10 to 12 because we like having that smaller group so that we all feel much more comfortable and we’re not, you know, have like 50 people one time. I mean, maybe we’ll do an event with more people. But as far as like hands on coaching, workshops, that kind of thing. I like the smaller numbers now. We’ve attended a lot of events this year. Everything from, you know, small, maybe 20 people all the way up to probably 200 people. I’ve been to gala dinners, you know, with like, a whole ballroom full of people. I’ve been to smaller events. Diane, what about you? What have you found as far as what you’ve learned about yourself?

Diane Diaz:
Yes. So I’ve been to a variety of types of events as well. And I think my favorite types are more the lunch and learn styles for some local group, maybe where it’s maybe it’s 60 women, maybe maximum of 100, but maybe like closer to 50 or 60. And then I feel like it’s easy to meet people and talk to them. What I find that happens in a much larger group, say a conference or like a large event with 600 people in attendance, is people tend to get in their own little cliques. And then for me personally, again, I grew up very shy and didn’t have much growing up. And so I immediately my brain immediately reverts to teenage Diane, who was shy and felt like she didn’t fit in. And then all of a sudden, I feel like I don’t have anybody to talk to. And I’m like, great, why? Why did I come to this? Who am I going to talk to? Nobody wants to talk to me immediately. We’re my nobody’s thinking about me. But this is what’s processing in my head. Right. And but people do sort of start to group up in large groups like that. And it is very hard to break through and walk up to is so much easier to walk up to one person at a table or two people at a table, than to walk up to a group of six women who are chatting together. And it’s really hard to kind of break in there and tell them who you are and why you want to. Why do you want to talk to them? Right. So I much prefer lunch and learns, um, you know, just any kind of luncheon like that because they’re usually limited in size. So those types of things are or if a local woman says, oh, I’m forming this group. And right now we have like 20 women, do you want to come to a meetup? Hunt. Yes, I do want to come to that because smaller group, I feel more comfortable. I can I can meet more people at small group than I can at a conference.

Carol Cox:
Yes, I completely agree with you. It is hard to break in when like there’s a group of 4 or 5 six people all talking together, and that does tend to happen more at larger events. And then and so the other thing is that, you know, you think about the larger events, and maybe this is also why larger events are harder for us, is that I feel like the agenda sometimes is a little bit fuzzier, whereas I like to know concrete. Okay. Like this, like the first half hour is networking. And then we’re going to have a panel discussion or we’re going to have the speaker. I feel like we like that structure better because then we know what’s coming. And so I will probably show up ten with ten minutes left of the networking, half an hour, and maybe not show up at the very beginning of the networking half hour.

Diane Diaz:
Yeah, no that’s true. I do like a structure because and then I like I like the structure because then I know, okay, here are some places where I can maybe start talking to some new people versus just being thrown into a sea full of people in a conference. And like, I don’t know what to do with this. It’s very hard for me.

Carol Cox:
One thing that I, that I did at conferences before the pandemic, when I would go to a lot of conferences, is that I would actually put together a lunch meet up with other women who I knew were attending that conference. So I attended some podcasting conferences, and so I knew a lot of other fellow women podcasters. So I would reach out to them, bring together like 8 or 10 of them. So I would say, okay, such and such a date. You know, lunch at the conference is from 12 to 1. Here’s the restaurant, let’s all meet. And then I had someone to have lunch with for sure. Like I was guaranteed because I was the one who was scheduling it.

Diane Diaz:
I like that because it’s also like taking the conference and breaking it down into a more manageable size for for you. I like that.

Carol Cox:
Yes. And I loved doing those. And yeah, I will definitely continue to do that. So here are some things that you can do as a as an introvert when attending, especially conferences where maybe it’s multiple days and it is a large number of people is connect with some people before the event. So if you know anyone or if you know somehow you can find on LinkedIn or other social media, follow a hashtag, see who else is going and say, hey, would you like to have lunch together on such and such a date or bring together a few people? I think that would help a lot to kind of get over that. That feeling of, you know, what am I going to do next? And then, Diane, you mentioned this is that if there’s someone who’s by themselves, go up and talk to them. And I know you do that quite a bit.

Diane Diaz:
Yes. And I part of the reason I do that is because I am an introvert, but also part of the reason is because I’m sometimes that one person standing there by herself. And I wish somebody would do that for me. And so I went to a, an event. It was a local event, but it was kind of on the large size because it was for a local chamber, and they were recognizing some prominent women in the community. So I would say there had to be at least 500 women there. So it’s on the bigger side. And when I walked in, everybody was formed up into their little cliques and this very sort of shishi area. And, you know, I knew that I was not going to make my inroads there. But I saw one young woman sitting on a little, little sort of bench sofa thing, um, just sitting there by herself. And so I kind of looked around and was like, obviously I’m not going to be able to talk to these other people. So I just went right up to her and I said, hi, you look like you’re here by yourself, and I am too. Would you like to chat? And then I just sat down on the sofa next to her and she said, oh, thank God, yes, I would. And then she even said to me, I think she was more of an introvert as well, and said to me, gosh, it’s really hard to kind of get in with these people. Like they’re in all these cliques. I said, I know, and then, then we just talked about that, and then we we had a lovely conversation. We sat together at the luncheon portion of it, had a lovely conversation. I went to a couple more things with her. So I’ve seen her a couple of times. That is a great way to meet people.

Carol Cox:
Yes, I love that idea because not only are you doing them a favor, you’re. But hopefully your karma is good and we’ll come back to you. Please.

Diane Diaz:
Oh, I hope so. I hope Taylor and Taylor Swift’s right about karma.

Carol Cox:
Yes. And for those of you who are extroverts and as are still listening to this episode, thank you so much. You are wonderful. You’re wonderful speakers and leaders as well. But if you see us introverts by ourselves, please come talk to us.

Diane Diaz:
Yes, please.

Carol Cox:
Oh all right. So the other thing to do is at the conference, this is whether you’re speaking or not, but definitely if you’re speaking make sure that you schedule in that recharge time, that alone time, whether it’s in the morning or at the afternoon break or before the dinner festivities or whatever it is. Try not to go back to back to back. As tempting as it may seem, because you may be fine doing that for a day, but you probably will start feeling the consequences of that by the second or third day.

Diane Diaz:
Oh, that is so true. You know, back in my corporate days, it was, you know, when like, it was just meeting after meeting after meeting after event after meeting after event, event event, you know, constantly all the time, 24 over seven. And as an introvert, it was not a good space for me to be in because it does. It wore me out and I’m not at my best and I’m also my my patients would get very short because I was craving some time to just myself to just decompress from it all and couldn’t get it. And so then I’m irritable and my energy’s gone and I’m like, now I’m useless to everybody, including myself. So I think that that method of blocking off time to recharge is a smart thing to do.

Carol Cox:
And also block off time the day after you get back from a conference. So say the conference is like a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and normally you would have other zoom appointments or other work on Thursday and Friday. I recommend blocking those off or just doing very minimal so that you have that time coming back. Because weeks ahead of time, as you’re looking at your calendar, you’re like, oh, I’ll be fine. You know, I’ll be back from the conference and I’ll, you know, put people in, but don’t because you will you will be glad that you gave yourself that time. All right. So then, for those of you who are interested in working with us, we do have our Thought Leader Academy, which is online. It’s an eight week program that combines weekly group zoom calls, plus a one on one virtual VIP day where we work with you to create your signature talk. Our enrollment dates are for the remaining of 2024. Can you believe it? We have one group that starts in August, and we have the next group that starts in October. And then that is it for 2024 until next year. So if you want to get all the details about that, you can do so at speaking your brand Comm Slash Academy. We’re also doing an in-person one day workshop in Orlando, Florida on October 10th, and that will give you the opportunity to not only work with us on your talk, but then also to practice on our stage. And this is really where we see so many of our introverted clients come to life, because we again, being those keen observers and being coaches and having done this for so long, we can instantly pick up where they are limiting themselves and where they need to break through and what we need to do and encourage them and help them with their storytelling, especially so that they come more alive as speakers.

Diane Diaz:
Yeah, I love that, you know, the in-person workshop that we’re going to do. And anytime we’ve done an in-person workshop like this, like in the past or this upcoming one, they’re so great because we do also keep the size small, and they’re great for introverts and extroverts. But how many times have we had clients at a retreat in person where it’s clear that they’re an introvert and they’re struggling with movement on the stage and like how to come across and feeling uncomfortable, all things that we completely understand because we’ve been there and but they all come to life. And I think because it is a room full of accepting, welcoming, understanding women who get where you’re coming from and are there to support you. And so it doesn’t feel like this huge conference where you’re just one of many, right? You feel cared for, nurtured, supported. So I if you get a chance to attend this in-person workshop, I implore you to do that because you’re going to get so much out of it and a lot of confidence is going to come from that.

Carol Cox:
And here’s what I hear from the clients who attended our other in-person workshops and retreats. Is that and again, many of them are introverts and they, after attending and after the practice time on our stage and our coaching and our feedback, then they go and they go to their speaking engagements, and then they get feedback from the audience, like charismatic. And they have said to me, Carol, I have never been called a charismatic speaker, and that’s the difference that it makes. So you can get the details about this in-person workshop as speaking your brand.com slash workshop. Again, that’s speaking your brand.com slash workshop. All right, Diane, well, thank you so much for coming on the podcast to talk about why introverts do make great speakers and leaders. And we are proof, as are all the amazing clients that we work with, whether they’re introverts or extroverts. And so next week’s episode, Diane interviewed one of our thought leader Academy graduates, Cindy Roe, because she is on fire on the speaking circuit. We see her linked in and she she is just booking gig after gig. And so Diane had a fantastic conversation with her that you’re going to hear next week. On the specific strategies she uses to get momentum on the speaking circuit. Get ready to take notes. And these are very practical, tangible things that you can do that maybe take an hour or two a week and they’re definitely doable. So, Diane, thank you for having that conversation. I know our listeners are gonna look forward to it. Don’t forget to take our speaker Archetype quiz so you can leverage your natural communication strengths and amplify them as speaking your Brand.com slash quiz. Until next time, thanks for listening.

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