304-SYB-Cara-Houser.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.
Carol Cox:
We’re continuing our series on the speaker archetypes today. We’re talking about the provocative performer with my guest, Kara Hauser, on this episode of The Speaking Your Brand podcast. More and more women are making an impact by starting businesses running for office and speaking up for what matters. With my background as a TV political analyst, entrepreneur and speaker, I interview and coach purpose driven women to shape their brands, grow their companies and become recognized as influencers in their field. This is speaking your brand, your place to learn how to persuasively communicate your message to your audience. Hi there and welcome to the Speaking Your Brand podcast. I’m your host, Carol Cox. We are diving in to our speaker archetypes all this month. This is now the third episode in our series exploring these four speaker archetypes. Why I decided to define these speaker archetypes and present them to you all because knowing your communication style, knowing your natural communication and speaking style will help you to create more impactful and memorable presentations. Market yourself as a speaker using your natural strengths, and then take our recommendations so that you can take your talks to the next level. If you haven’t yet discovered your speaker archetype, you can do so by taking our free quiz. It’s a lot of fun. Just takes a few minutes at speaking your brand slash quiz. And this episode we’re talking about the provocative performer speaker archetype.
Carol Cox:
You all know I love alliteration as provocative performer and my guest and thought leader Academy client is Cara Hauser, who you’ll get to meet in just a moment. Here’s a thing with provocative performers. You’re outgoing, you’re charismatic. The bigger the stage, the better your entertainer at heart. And you love to incorporate a different things into your speeches and presentations. And Cara Cara has a great example of this. And so your natural performance abilities make you comfortable on stage. Your big challenge, though, is that you love performing so much that you may miss out on their opportunity to provide your audience with your overall thought leadership message and a strong call to action. That’s what we’re going to talk about today with Kara. Let me tell you a little bit about her. She has spent 20 years learning how to survive and ultimately thrive in the ultra male real estate development business. Yeah, you can imagine, right? And Kara has stories for days that crack us up on our thought leader. Academy calls about that because of that and because all of this led to burnout, she has now rebuilt her career with far more autonomy and purpose, and she works with women to help them see their value, use their power and get what they want in work and life. Kara, welcome to the podcast.
Cara Houser:
Thanks so much for having me. Carol. So happy to be here.
Carol Cox:
And I really I do love your stories and you have such a great and natural sense of humor. And that also kind of lends itself to your provocative performer speaker archetype. So car, before we dig into your speaker archetype, can you tell us a little bit more about how you work with women now and what you’re helping them to do?
Cara Houser:
So I have had honestly, a passion from the beginning, I think, of time for helping people step into their own personal power and shine their light out into the world. And so being able to do this now in my actual profession is just so, so thrilling. So over the last year, I have launched a coaching and speaking and course creation consultancy, and so I take work with clients one on one who are amazing women, who are ambitious, super high impact powerful folks, but who, like everybody here in our country, have been steeped and grown in our culture. You know, we’re all sort of hampered by some of the limitations in ways that we as women are encouraged or discouraged from communicating or advocating for ourselves. We also all have blind spots, of course, to ourselves. So I know when I’ve needed coaching and over the years I go find one and I help them get real, real quick to the things I’m missing. And that’s one of the things that I do with my clients. So we talk through what they’re working on and we really pretty quickly drill down deep into what exactly it is. That’s the core issue. And then we throw all kinds of fresh new light and perspective on it and then strategize. And so that’s one of the things that I do. And then I do a course two called Sabbatical in a box.
Carol Cox:
I love the phrase sabbatical in a box. I know I’ve told you on our other calls that I originally went to graduate school to be a professor. I really wanted to be in academia, in the ivory tower. And one of the things that really appealed to me, not only my love of history and teaching, but also because professors get sabbatical, so they get that focused time off that they can devote to that intense, deep work of research and writing. And I really I think I think more some companies have just started to give sabbaticals to some of their higher end employees. But can you tell us a little bit about what that looks like for the women who come to you and the sabbatical in a box? What do they do?
Cara Houser:
Yes, So what you just described is so it’s common. That’s what most people think about. And so. Part of what I’m after is kind of rebranding and bringing the sabbatical to the people. You know, it’s not just for professors or for people at a certain whatever level, and it’s not just for people who have the time and cash to go have their eat, pray, love year on the road. Yeah. You know, not everybody can just step away from their life for a little while. Not now and don’t know who knows when. So the big picture point is that we don’t have to wait until our two week vacation when we’re probably still working or when we retire in 25 years or when we die to chill out and get to know ourselves so and do the things that light us up in this world. And live just a lot more full bodied existence. So I like to talk about my journey as going from being burned out to lit up and burned out to bursting with ideas and energy. And, you know, when you’re really in a state of burnout, like most folks I talked to right now are, it’s really hard to see that there’s even any other options out there. And the last thing you want to do is go read seven books and try seven things and take a whole bunch of courses and figure out how to how to help yourself out.
Cara Houser:
You just don’t have the energy to do it. So this course is really aimed at folks who are working still full time and it’s one hour a week. It’s a 12 week course. It’s a small group, so it’s super supportive. I literally send you a box full of hand, curated, beautiful things. And so it’s like having a present every week because you’ll get the materials and also whimsical stuff you need to support your journey. And we spend an hour working through whatever the theme is, the topic that we’re expanding our imaginations and minds too. We practice a little bit with it, and then there’s one thing to practice during the course of the next week, and it’s just helping people to get into a more sabbatical style mindset and way of being. And then at the end people will have all of these really nurturing resources and can decide for themselves what were the things that worked best and serve them best that need to stay in their ongoing routine and what things didn’t. As much as we all have our different ways of being in the world. So it’s not just a thing that we do for a little while. The whole point is that this is something we build into our everyday lives.
Carol Cox:
It’s kind of like health and wellness practices. It’s not like you just can exercise for a month and be like, okay, I’ve exercise for a month now. I don’t ever have to do it again.
Cara Houser:
Yes, it is a practice actually caring, really properly caring for ourselves and going from one of the dichotomies I talk about is this notion of self care, which we all know about, but that can feel like another to do for people. It’s like, Oh, I work, I raised children, I have friends and family, I have extended family, whatever, and volunteering in the community. Oh, and guess what? Now I need to go and do all this extra stuff. I have to take a class. I got to go get all this Botox or whatever it is that women feel like they have to do. Like it’s just all these things that you feel like that you’re piling on and on and on. I like to think of it more as this progression from self care to self possession, where you’re really coming from your core and your self possessed. All the decisions you make are from your your core values and interests and passions. And so then your decisions in the world of what you want to do and how you want to spend your time and who with become a lot more natural. And that doesn’t mean that you don’t want to ever go get pedicures or massages or things like that. It just means that it’s not being driven by external expectations. It’s really being driven by your internal, you know, your soul, whatever it is about you that wants or needs to do that.
Carol Cox:
I remember on one of our thought leader Academy Group calls a couple of weeks ago, Kara, you were talking about this idea of self possession versus self care. And I know you got some good input and feedback from the other women on the call there. And one of the things that stood out to me that I remember from that conversation is that so for a long time, so many of us have taken external advice and input with no filter, just, okay, go do these seven things and then you’ll be good. Or go, go do these things, and then you’re going to fix the problem. And then so often we try those things and they’re a Band-Aid, if that at all. It may be they provide a temporary solution if if we’re lucky. But so often than not, we still are in that place of burnout or dissatisfaction or whatever it happens to be. And what came out to me was how do we recognize what’s truly for us versus what other everyone else? Maybe those things work for them, but how do we figure out what’s for us?
Cara Houser:
That is the million dollar question. And really the way to know is to try it, but is to try different things. But before you even do that, it just requires doing nothing and getting really, really, really quiet into yourself. And I know folks will tell me like meditation, I don’t want to do any of that stuff, which is why I send my people in the sabbatical in the box, a little jar of glitter, and they fill it with water and we call it glitter breathing. We just shake it up and then you just look at it until it settles and it’s like your mind settling and then you’re just like, calm down. Because one of the things that you were saying is that you’re I think you’re getting it is that we lose touch with our intuition over time. All these external messages start like literally reprogramming our brains, and we actually do know what’s right and works for us. I think most all of the clients I’ve worked with know it’s just not immediately accessible to them. And so it’s about kind of making the space. In fact, the first few sessions of of the sabbatical in the box is called making space decluttering. We literally declutter our our minds, body spirits, our houses, all the things.
Cara Houser:
Because when you do that, then you create the space to actually reconnect with yourself and then you’ll know. And I really do remember. Burnett When I’ve thought I was convinced there’s something physically wrong with me, I was going to all these doctors I was doing like, you know, buying all the scented oils. I mean, any single thing I could find that seemed like vitamins. None of these things are wrong enough with their own. But I was convinced there was something external that was going to fix me because I was something that was broken. And it took me a while of doing all this stuff to figure out that what we needed to change was something internal. That is not that fun of an answer, because it’s it means a lot of work for you like me in this case. And I took these mindfulness based stress reduction courses. And I just I mean, I embarked on this seriously long term journey, which again, I’ve distilled for people who don’t have to do it. They can just learn more quickly and easily what will work for them. But I think it’s that realization is step one.
Carol Cox:
Yes. And Kyra, what you just described, that is what thought leadership is. Number one, sharing your own journey of discovery. You know, this is where I was. This is what happened to me. But curating it so that you can share with your audiences. Here are the things that I did. And I remember back in that group call, I remember you saying, I don’t want to give women a whole bunch of other things to do, like in my in my presentations to them, I don’t want to give them because that kind of defeats the purpose of what I’m talking about. I said, Yes, exactly. As a thought leadership speaker. You’re not giving them a whole bunch of answers or things to do. Instead, you’re posing questions to them to get them to think differently, to to shine a light on a new perspective that they can take.
Cara Houser:
Yes. Your group is so, so wonderful and nourishing. I remember going that day and just kind of like literally vomiting out all sorts of stuff to people and being like, What do you guys think? And people were very, extremely thoughtful and helpful in the response because just like, you know, we all get in our own weeds of what we’re thinking about and it’s hard to tie that thread together sometimes.
Carol Cox:
That’s well, that’s why I’m such a big believer in literally talking things out loud to someone else or to a small group of people. All right. So we’ve kind of now we’ve we’ve outlined for the listeners what it is that you do in your business and who you help, how you help them. And some of the thought leadership message that you have to share. And I know that you do presentations both for lead generation, so to attract clients to your programs and your offerings and then also kind of a thought leadership talk like we were just discussing about getting having women see something from a different perspective or a new perspective. So now let’s talk about where your provocative performer speaker archetype fits in. When you took the quiz and you got your result, were you surprised?
Cara Houser:
I first learned I can be. I have sort of a Hamish side of myself. When I went to summer camp as a kid and I was sort of this nerdy, bookish kid and my mom made me go because I was such an annoying teenager. And I got there and I, you know, they put you on the campfire stage and you’re doing this and that, and it’s just no matter what you do, everyone’s like, cool. And you could be horrible. And it was fine. And it was just such a great I just found that I loved it. I love connecting people with people in different ways and obvious and saying things and experiencing things and conveying things in ways people can actually take in. And I know that I like to take part in things to that way where I’m like, it just sort of gets right to the heart of it. And very early in my real estate career, I had an opportunity to do a presentation and I did find myself heading in that direction.
Carol Cox:
So I want to hear more about this. And is this the one where this was kind of almost like a first speaking engagement that you were kind of thrown into and really unexpectedly? And so tell us how that came to be, how you prepared, how you felt and what happened.
Cara Houser:
Yes, first, I was not invited to speak. It was my boss, the owner of the company, and it was in. So I’m based in the San Francisco Bay Area and it was down in Palm Springs and he wasn’t available. He just signed me up and he said, You know, Cara, this will be great. And I said, Sure. And I do tend to jump in. I don’t mind jumping in the pool. And I sort of realize that that’s what you need to do sometimes to learn things. And, you know, it can get a little ugly. But so I go, But it was not without drama. I had gotten a concussion recently before, and I was sort of like, Should I fly? I still had vertigo. And my mom insisted that my sister come with me as a chaperone. So we go. We go. And somehow we got like, food poisoning. The day before it was this whole thing. And I thought, Oh my God. I mean, I had just I got to suck it up here, folks. So it was my very first thing. And there were 600 people.
Carol Cox:
Like 600 people.
Cara Houser:
I didn’t really know. I didn’t really know anything. I was like, Oh, I do this thing, let’s have a talk. And so I show up and I’m just like, Really? Not that well, but I’m like. We got to we got to focus. I put together the presentation. It was about micro units, which was a form of urban infill development my company was doing at the time, and we were doing this really awesome LEED Platinum Micro unit modular project, which the whole building came together in four days after being built in a factory. And so we made this time lapse video and the viewers could see the whole thing being built and then delivered on site in like 30 seconds. And we put it to this song, The William Tell Overture, and we just played it and it was so cool. And the audience was like, Oh, it’s like I was there. And it felt really as fun as I was hoping it would. So in general, it was a very good experience, although I did make, you know, you got to make ugly learnings and I did make an ugly learning too.
Carol Cox:
Okay, So we’ll get to the learning. But I want to just point out for the listeners who I’m sure have noticed this as well. So Kara is basically told by her boss, go do the speaking engagement. Kara goes and does it. And what does she do? Not only does the show must go on happened because despite her not feeling that great, she still had to show up and perform. But then also she has the video. It has that music to it. She’s going to incorporate things that are fun into her speaking engagement. And I think that is what makes someone naturally a performer. And when I say this, a speaker is a performer does not necessarily mean you’re going to get up and act out a play or do a dance number on stage, unless, of course, you want to. You certainly can, but more so that you have this kind of performance essence to you where you almost can’t help but do those things when you’re in front of an audience, like adding comedy or making sure that the audience is having a good time while you’re where you’re giving them the information.
Cara Houser:
Yeah, thank you. I mean that to me in your right, I can’t help it. It’s so fun to me. And I just hope, you know, obviously the whole point is for it to be fun and interesting to other people. So I try to make sure that it will be.
Carol Cox:
Now, let’s talk about you said you had a learning from that speaking experience.
Cara Houser:
What was that? Well, I had to learn my whole first several I had learning, some of which are more embarrassing than others. But this one was okay. I just I felt comfortable. So I kind of looked like I more or less belong there. But the part that you knew I was a rookie was I just I taught as too long, you know, And I was a bit of a little thuggish about the time, which I feel kind of bad now about in retrospect, but whatever, they’ll be over it. It’s a long time ago, but I got a little carried away and I think a couple of stories I was telling. So that’s something I’ve learned to keep sharper now.
Carol Cox:
Yeah, it’s basically, you know, how the Cain on the old days where they would drag the performer off the stage.
Cara Houser:
Right. Get the hook. Yes, basically.
Carol Cox:
So what do you do now to make sure that that doesn’t happen?
Cara Houser:
I practice more and a little differently. I do not memorize the things that I do. I don’t I don’t like to do it. It’s just too stiff for me. But I do take the and and I just and I watch the time. I just watch it like, as I’m doing it versus just getting too carried away. I’ve just pay more attention to how I’m doing and I rap when I need to.
Carol Cox:
Okay. So then as I mentioned, with with the provocative performer or speaker archetype, you like to incorporate things like whether it’s acting like maybe like a little bit of dialogue comedy, it could be dancing and singing. Definitely props multimedia into your speeches and presentations. And I know people ask me all the time what my speaker archetype is, and I would say that at my core, I’m the stellar scholar, which happens to be about half of the quiz takers have been stellar scholar, which I’m not surprised because that tends to be these high achieving women who who already have found speaking your brand and like the work that we do. So I think that’s traditionally who I am. But I have intentionally chosen to incorporate more performance aspects into the presentations, into the keynotes that I do, not only because it’s more fun for me, but I also think it’s more engaging for the audience. And Kyra, I know that you also play the guitar, right? So I have. So how how have you thought about ways that you can incorporate that into your presentations?
Cara Houser:
Well, I haven’t gotten too far along the thinking process, but I do tend to make up songs all the time and for no good reason. And my kids know this because I’ll just go around the house making up jingles. And so, you know, to the extent that I can make up something that feels relevant, you know, music and stories are the ways that learnings and things lodge themselves in our heads, whether we like it or not. So it’s something that I’m thinking about building in and a little bit more of a formal way. Yeah, I don’t know. I think I’m just going to have my guitar right there. I mean, maybe even do like a song. I think one of the thought Leader Academy folks had this idea of maybe even just like crowdsourcing one on a certain idea from from the group because it’s really fun to to do that in a spitball kind of a way. People just kind of throwing out rhyming ideas. So that sounds kind of fun. But yeah, I don’t. The structure. Is very amorphous.
Carol Cox:
Still. I like the idea of having the crowd source songs almost like improv, like an improv activity, but it ends up being the lyrics to a song that can be fun. And you also could do a call and response. Call and response is really can be very effective in presentations. It’s what pastors do in churches where they say something and then the audience says something. So you could do something with the guitar and with the song because so it’s so easy to remember songs versus just words. So you could definitely do something like that.
Cara Houser:
That’s an awesome idea.
Carol Cox:
And I’d like to end presentations on a high note, high energy. So a lot of times when we’re speaking, there’s a kind of a natural arc to the presentation to the keynote. No, you’ll start one way. You’ll probably get into a story that’s maybe a little bit heavier at some point in your presentation because you want to bring that audience on that emotional journey. But then I always recommend leaving on a high note because audiences will remember what happened at the end. We have a recency bias, immediacy, bias where we always remember. So I always like to end with something high, high energy positive, and music is a great way to do that. So you could do something like that at the end.
Cara Houser:
Yeah, I love that. I think that makes a lot of sense because especially if we’re taking them through some heavy stuff, just leaving with a bit of inspiration sounds really good.
Carol Cox:
Well, and then the other thing with the provocative performers is, is to think about is that again, because you’re so good at kind of the entertaining and keeping people engaged and wowing your audience and being really creative. One thing to keep in mind is to make sure that you are delivering that thought leadership message to them that right, because we have a tendency to just like, Oh, let me throw in this video clip and let me do this problem. Let me do this fun thing. So just making sure that your thought leadership message is really strong and that you’re conveying that and also leaving your audience with a call to action. So even if we’re doing something that is a little bit more something more, a little bit more fun, but audiences want to know what they can do next, either for themselves or kind of like that bigger ask into the world. So also just think about what that can look like.
Cara Houser:
That is another thing I’m learning leaps and bounds about. And the Thought Leader Academy. In fact, it’s one of the main reasons I signed up for it is because I was not doing much of a job of incorporating these very specific calls to action for folks. And so I’m making huge progress in incorporating that now.
Carol Cox:
Fantastic. And I know you have your VIP day coming up. It hasn’t happened quite yet, but you’re going to be working on your signature talk canvas and I can’t wait to see what that ends up looking.
Cara Houser:
Like to its tomorrow. I’m super excited. I just know that Diane’s going to crack open our heads and whip us into shape and all that good stuff.
Carol Cox:
She will in the most loving way possible. Yeah.
Cara Houser:
Yeah, it’s going to be great.
Carol Cox:
I also want to make sure that we have a few more things that I want to cover today. So one of the things that we talk about in the Thought Leader Academy is for you all to select a thought leadership container. And the reason to pick a container is so that you have a way to to share and to showcase your thought leadership message in addition to speaking in presentations, but in something else that lives on so that other people can then see it and get involved. It could be a podcast, a pod capsule podcast, a short podcast series, it could be an event, could be an initiative, or it could be a LinkedIn live show. And so, Kara, tell us, why did you decide to do a LinkedIn live show and then tell us what the premise is of it?
Cara Houser:
This came out of a thought leader Academy session where we were talking about the containers. And so I was thinking about some of the more traditional ones like that I’m already working on like workshops and and talks and keynotes and even trainings courses. I’m doing all kinds of fun stuff like that. You all asked me like, okay, so what am I actually working on right now that I could turn into a thing like using a different way than I’m currently using it? And so I shared that. One of the things that I do as, as part of my on my website, when folks subscribe to my newsletter, they get a weekly email from me called It’s the Dear Glinda Career column Advice and Inspiration for Powerful Souls Like You and the inspiration. If anybody remembers Glinda the Good Witch, she tells Dorothy, You’ve always had the power, you’ve had it all along. And so the common thread through everything is helping folks see how in any situation there’s always a different angle or a different perspective you could take to approach it from a more powerful stance, one that you probably didn’t know that you could do.
Cara Houser:
So each week there’s usually like a Q&A, like a question from a reader that Glinda answers, and sometimes it’s stories from the archives of Glenda’s career where she gets to share her by really embarrassing lessons learned the hard way and the morals of the story. So that has been just a really fun thing I’ve been doing now for a. While. And so you also suggested that I turn that into a LinkedIn Live version where Glenda goes live, share stories and takes Q&A from participants, the guests who come. And so I was pretty inspired by that. And I put it on. I actually just set it up last week, and it’s going to happen next week. Excitingly, there’s a bunch of people that are my my dear friend and powerful colleague and wonderful, just awesome partner in crime. And Chang shared it out and she’s been super supportive, all of you instructors and awesome people. And I thought Leader Academy have been wonderful too, so I cannot wait. It’s going to be neat to see it take that new form.
Carol Cox:
Yes. Well, and so by the time this episode comes out, that first LinkedIn live show will already have happened. I’ll make sure to include a link in the show notes so that people can go watch the recording and then obviously follow you on LinkedIn so that they can get future updates when you go live again. All right, Kara. So let me ask you now for your favorites. What is a favorite TED talk that you would like to share with us?
Cara Houser:
That is easy. One of my favorites is called A Seat at the Table by Lilly Singh. She’s just a hoot. She has a comedian. So, of course, you know, I’m into her. She has a really incredible way of sharing her story. She really gets into gender equity issues in a way that’s very, very accessible and then exhorts us all to see that this is really a societal cultural issue that we can all deal with. She says women don’t just need a seat at the table. They need a whole new table which is built really for all of us to be a part of, and not just kind of have our little quiet corner, but to take up our proper space and and be a part of the world. So she also talks about this really not so fun elephant in the room, which is how sometimes women because again, we are all steeped in the same culture. Sometimes we can be agents and gatekeepers of the patriarchy. And she just kind of shines a light on that. And how when we do become leaders ourselves, you know, to really be very big tent about it, because the more folks that are empowered and can use their voice, the better for all of us.
Carol Cox:
I love that. You mentioned Lilly Singh. She is my archetype of the provocative performer archetype as a speaker in her TED talk. So she is.
Cara Houser:
Great. Yes.
Carol Cox:
Next question. A favorite book.
Cara Houser:
This is an oldie in a classic goodie. It’s mindset by Carol Dweck. Been around a while. Folks will say, Mindset is everything, and I will say, Yes, that’s cliche for a reason. It is. It just is. And her book, even though I felt like I understood growth and fixed mindset just from raising kids and hearing about it in their schools, when I read the book, it was still a mind blower for me and I really, really, really recommend it. She just has the most sort of hopeful message and boiled down very simply, it’s that we can always learn and grow. And so any setback or anything, it doesn’t it just doesn’t need to get us down because it’s not only natural, I mean, it’s required. It’s a necessary part of life. And anyone can learn how to boost up their mindset. So this is something that’s available. It’s a superpower available to anybody any time.
Carol Cox:
Fantastic. And a favorite quote.
Cara Houser:
This one is by Alice Walker. And she says, the most common way people give away their power is by thinking they don’t have any. And that goes back to mindset to love it.
Carol Cox:
All right. Thank you so much for sharing that, Kara. Thank you so much for being on a speaking your brand podcast and for being a part and a contributor to our Thought Leader Academy all make sure to include links in the show notes for everyone to connect with you on your website and on LinkedIn. And for those of you listening, next week we’ll have our fourth and final episode in the Speaker Archetype series. We we talk about the spellbinding storyteller archetype, so stay tuned for that one and go back and listen to the previous two episodes if you haven’t caught those yet, until next time. Thanks for listening.
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