Invite Resistance to Dinner

“The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.” – Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

Ah, Resistance, my close friend. We go way back and have frequent visits together.

You probably get visits from Resistance too. She likes to have a lot of friends and often shows up when we least want her around, like an uninvited guest crashing a dinner party.

Last week, I talked about why you need to dream for your audience.

You also need to dream for yourself – for your future, your family and relationships, your career, your business, your community.

But have you ever found yourself reluctant to pursue those dreams, afraid that putting them out into the world means they’ll no longer be a perfect vision in your head? That your creative vision will somehow be diminished if it becomes real? That maybe, just maybe, you’ll fail (or succeed!) at your dream and then wonder what’s left?

That’s Resistance.

Instead of pursuing what we really want, we convince ourselves that we want to do something else. We come up with all kinds of reasons and justifications, many of which are valid and make sense and no one would fault us for.

Yet, when we get quiet, we can hear our dreams nagging at us.

The longer we ignore our dream, the more unfulfilled we feel.

I know because I went through a period a few years ago when I stopped dreaming, stopped thinking big, stopped putting myself out there.

I thought I was being practical. I thought I was protecting myself from disappointment. I thought I was giving space to others.

What I was really doing was playing small and giving in to Resistance.

The more we resist our calling, the less we show up in the world to be of service and a role model to others.

As Marianne Williamson writes, “Your playing small does not serve the world.. … As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

3 Ways to Work Through Resistance:

1. Acknowledge it.

Rather than kick Resistance out of the house when she shows up, pull up a chair for her at the dinner table. Acknowledge her presence and ask her why she’s there (ignoring her entirely makes her more petulant). Listen just long enough for her fears and doubts to be heard, but not too long to get sucked in.

2. Talk with others about it.

Resistance likes to keep you to herself, whispering in your ear that you’re meant to struggle alone. Don’t listen to this part.

Call a friend or colleague when Resistance shows up more than a few days in a row.

Even better, hire a coach (like me! 🙂 ) or become part of a mastermind group that meets regularly (every week or two). Coaches and groups have helped to keep me focused, accountable and supported, leaving Resistance less space to enter.

3. Do the work anyways.

This idea of Resistance comes from Steven Pressfield’s books The War of Art and Do the Work.

His recommendation: Show up every day to do your work, no matter what. Master your tools, get paid for what you do, but don’t over-identify with your job.

How do you overcome Resistance? Share in the comments below or on Facebook.

Worth Listening To

Check out this podcast interview with author Steven Pressfield to give you a jumpstart on his ideas.

This interview comes from the Six Pixels of Separation podcast, which was one of the very first podcasts I started listening to way back in 2008. Every week, host Mitch Joel delivers thoughtful conversations with key players in marketing, advertising, technology, and business.

Worth Reading

My business coach Lisa Princic recently published a fantastic blog post on “How to increase your income without mimicking mass marketers”. She’s launching a 6-week online group program that starts on June 15 to help you scale deep with your offerings. I’ll be a part of this group and I’d love to see you there as well. (Note: This is not an affiliate link and I don’t get anything from writing this other than sharing an approach I believe in).

Upcoming Events

If you’re in Central Florida, I’m facilitating an action-packed half-day workshop on July 14 at weVenture Rockledge (Brevard County) on Creating Your Signature Talk. You’ll learn how to structure your presentation, use the hero’s journey to connect with your audience, create your story bank, and persuade your audience to action. Details and registration here.

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