294-SYB-Solita-Roberts.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.
Carol Cox:
As business owners, how can we attract a diverse clientele and why is it important to do so? You’re going to get a lot out of my conversation with Selita Roberts on this episode of The Speaking Your Brand podcast. More and more women are making an impact by starting businesses running for office and speaking up for what matters. With my background as a TV political analyst, entrepreneur and speaker. I interview and coach purpose driven women to shape their brands, grow their companies and become recognized as influencers in their field. This is Speaking Your Brand, your place to learn how to persuasively communicate your message to your audience. Hi, and welcome to the Speaking Your Brand podcast. I’m your host, Carol Cox. Thank you so much for joining me today. I have a confession to make. I hit the easy button earlier this year and I say this not as an excuse, but as a wake up call for myself. It was mayor this year and we had an incredible group of women join our Thought Leader Academy, and I couldn’t help but notice that almost all of them look like me white. This is in no way to discount how much I’ve enjoyed having each of them in the program, seeing their progress and being incredibly proud and excited to see how they’re going to make positive changes in their communities and industries.
Carol Cox:
And yet I also recognized that something was lost by not having a diversity of races and backgrounds in our program, because I know how much we learn from each other’s experiences, perspectives and ideas. At our team meeting that month in May, our executive assistant, Selena Roberts, pointed this out, and I knew without reservation that I was responsible for this. I wanted to make sure I was doing what I should be doing to provide an inclusive and welcoming environment and to show up in the places where the women don’t all look like me. So I invited Selita to come on the podcast so that we could have our conversation about this. So we talk about why was easy for me to hit that easy button for where I showed up in the first half of this year. And the results that that led to my concerns about not wanting to be seen as a white savior parachuting into another person’s group. Selita suggestions on how to show up in communities to empower them in my three big takeaways from what we talked about are around self awareness, intentionality and collective effort. This is a really important and powerful conversation. So now let’s get on with the show. Welcome to the Speaking Your Friend podcast.
Solita Roberts:
Selita Hey Carol, thank you very much for having me.
Carol Cox:
It is truly my pleasure. We know each other pretty well now because you have been working with Speaking Your Brand since December of 2020, which has been fantastic. You are executive assistant and client concierge. You do an amazing job with that. And in addition to that, you are also an image coach. You have your own business called Style to Impact and I appreciate so much that you do that work not only so that I can benefit, but that our clients can benefit as well. It’s such a natural and such a nice add on that you provide. And of course, Selita and I want you to share a little bit with our listeners before we get into the discussion today that as an image coach, it’s much more than just picking out clothes for someone to wear. It goes much deeper than that. So you can you share a little bit about why it matters to you? Our style and our image matters.
Solita Roberts:
Oh, yes. Thank you very much, Carol, for the opportunity to obviously discuss this a little bit further, because for a lot of women, we’re told that style is superficial. If you pay attention to it, you must be shallow. You must be, you know, all the adjectives that we use to describe women when we do focus on style. But as a black woman going into whether or not is corporate any spaces, we are highly judged based on how we present ourselves and we’re always worried whether or not we are wearing the right color if our hair is style properly, if we’re presenting and communicating the right image. And so I understood as a black woman the struggles of that and knowing that it’s important how we present ourselves and making that transition easier for black women and women to know, okay, what do I wear that best suits me and making sure that I’m appropriately dressed for these environments so I’m not leaving myself at home before I enter those rooms, because most of the time that’s what happened. When you’re unsure as to what to wear, when you’re unsure as to how you’re presenting yourself, the easiest thing for you to do is to say, okay, I’m going to leave parts of myself at home. And the work that I do is to really encourage women and specifically black women and women of color to show up as their authentic selves within this space. Because when we show up as our authentic selves, it means that hopefully that’s the work that I’m working on, is to make sure that women are using their voices, to make sure that you feel confident to raise your hand and say, you know, I’m next for that executive position to raise your hand and say, how can I support another woman? Because it’s more than the clothes. It’s the confidence that you will have to be able to do the things that you want to do in your life, whether or not that’s personal or professionally.
Carol Cox:
And Selita, you know, of course, that I follow you on LinkedIn because that’s where I hang out. I know you’re also on Instagram and we’ll make sure to include those links in the show notes so the listeners can follow you there as well. And I do appreciate your posts on LinkedIn. Not only do you show us your very stylish outfits and you always look fantastic, but that there’s always a deeper message behind the post and the message that you’re sharing. And I believe that’s why LinkedIn also selected you as in their first class of 100 creators, that that program that you went through because is more than like you said, it’s more than just the clothes that you’re wearing.
Solita Roberts:
Absolutely. And when I started my business, like even the name itself, before I was dabbling in style, I was like, oh, I’m going to call myself style by Selita. And that’s when I was playing around with it. That’s when I was finding my creative bone and just kind of like understanding how I want to be creative. But when I thought about my business and formulating that business on what I wanted to say, style to impact is exactly that. I want women to dress, to be able to have the impact in their lives, to change how they shop, to change how they kind of come together and create the changes that we need. It’s more than that. And being able to be in that LinkedIn creative program was like, I was like totally shocked when I was selected. And at the same time I’m like, Oh, but I am making the change, right? Because when I talked about the idea for that program, it was changing the way women and women of color show up right where we’re told we’re being too much, too much, too black and too Asian, too Latino. You’re trying to be too much. It’s like, no, I’m being myself and I want to be accepted for being myself. So yeah, LinkedIn is definitely that place for me that being able to have that outlet and talk to professional women to make them understand the importance of how they present themselves and not code switch, not walk into that room pretending to be someone. You’re not leaving most of yourself at home, but knowing that you’re comfortable and taking ownership of your image and how you show up in the different spaces you’re in.
Carol Cox:
And Selena, this idea of feeling that you can show up as yourself authentically and also feeling that you belong in whatever space that it is and feeling included is a great segway to the main topic that I want us to talk about today. And the title of this episode is Attracting a Diverse Clientele. And we could even say not just clients, but also team members to your business and organization. Obviously D-I work or was also sometimes called DIB work. So diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging work we know has gotten a lot of attention in the past two years, since the summer of 2020. And many, many large corporations, they checked all the boxes during that immediate aftermath after George Floyd’s murder and all of the the marches and the protests that were happening. And now, of course, they’re back, a lot of them to quote unquote, business as usual. Sadly, the reason I wanted having we’re having this conversation here on the podcast is because we had a Speaking Your Brand team meeting. This was back as a probably in early May. We had a speak in your brand team meeting and you Diane directly speaking coach and myself were on this meeting and we were looking at our clientele for Speaking Your Brand, particularly for the women who are coming through the Thought Leader Academy and I had had something on my mind that had been weighing on me for the past few months of or the first part of 2022. And Selita, this is why I so appreciate you being part of our team because we got to the end of the, the team meeting of the of the agenda and you spoke up and said and this is why I’m grateful that I hope I’m giving you the space in our team for you, for you to feel comfortable doing this. And you said something like, well, Carol, your clientele has not been very diverse.
Solita Roberts:
Yes. Something to that effect.
Carol Cox:
And you meant that’s not the words. I I’m not sure exactly what the words you said, but it was something to that effect. And you know how there was the OscarsSoWhite hashtag. And I joked around and I feel like it’s like speaking so white. And this is not to say anything about the women who are clients of Speaking Your Brand and the women who are in Thought Leader, Academy and Catalyst. They are incredible and I am so proud and so inspired by every single one of them. And yet I also know how much richer our conversations are in our programs when we have a diversity of women in them, specifically diversity of races and ethnicities, in addition to diversity of industries and backgrounds and experiences and things like that. And I have known that this I have I obviously I see the women who are coming in and I recognize this. And I also knew was 100% on me. Yes. That this is where we ended up, because as every good business person knows what is happening currently and like I say, the current quarter is because of what. Ever you set up the past quarter or the past six months?
Solita Roberts:
Absolutely.
Carol Cox:
And so, Diane, you and I had this conversation about, okay, so what is it that I had been doing and hadn’t been doing? And then what can we now do differently? What can I do differently?
Solita Roberts:
First of all, I want to say the importance of creating spaces for your team to have these conversations right, to feel comfortable, to have these conversations, to know when you do broach the topic, it’s not going to be taken as you’re being aggressive, you’re bringing up something. It’s not going to be taken in that negative vein. And so I appreciate you creating that space for me to talk about it, for me to bring it up and being open to having the discussion, because that’s the other part of it. You know, we can bring up these conversations, but those in leadership positions must be open to having the conversation and then doing something about it. And so I want to applaud you for that. And the other thing I wanted to touch on, as you said, the women that come through Speaking Your Brand and the Thought Leadership Academy, amazing women. And one of the reasons why I brought that up, because of how impactful it has been on those women and what they’re doing and how they’re changing lives after they’re speaking about after they develop their thought leadership. It’s just for me at that moment, it’s like, how can we get more women to do this? Because when we have different industries, that means that we have women speaking up and doing the work to change the different industries that they’re in. And then we also it’s just a domino effect of the changes that we can have. And for me as a black woman, I’m looking around and I know I think I remember asking you in question and it’s like there’s nothing in your marketing that I can say, okay, this is what you’re doing wrong, right? Or This needs to change.
Solita Roberts:
Or specifically like you’re marketing to one group, it’s a matter of for me. And the other question I did ask myself is like, is it a case where black women and women of color aren’t familiar or know that there’s such a thing as that we can become thought leaders, right? So I had to ask myself those questions first and then I had that conversation with you. And so when I looked at the spectrum of it, looking at the whole of it. It’s not. And sometimes I think this is where companies I’m not I’m not going to say I’m a die expert. I’m not going to say that I have that type of expertise. But I’m a human being. And I do understand what it’s like to be a human being. I do understand what it means to want to accomplish things and feeling as though you’re being left out of the equation, you’re being left out of the system. Your voice is not being heard. I do know what that’s like. So I’m coming from that space. And so what I notice and maybe why some companies are struggling in this way is, yes, you’re doing all the marketing work. You’re talking about the importance of using your voice as a woman. You’re talking about the importance of becoming expert in sales, and you’re talking about equal pay for women. But are you going into different communities of women? If you’re just going to basically what happens? You’re going to attract your clientele, you’re going to attract your team members from the communities that you’re going into.
Solita Roberts:
So if you’re going into communities that primarily looks like you, more than likely that’s going to be the members that you’re going to attract in your programs. That’s going to be the members that you’re going to attract in your on your team. And that’s probably where you’re spending your monies as well. Right? So when I look at it and if I’m talking about advancing women’s voices or I’m talking about equal pay, bridging the gap, wage gap, if we’re looking at that, then for me, it’s if you are a small business owner and you’re saying this is this is your passion and you talk about your thought leadership like that, the thing that drives you, the thing that you’re going to hold on to, to remind you of the changes that you want to make, if that’s where you’re saying and you’re looking at, okay, I want to change the wage gap between men and women. But if you look at the clients that are coming through your program, if they’re primarily look like you, maybe white, maybe Asian, whoever that is, let’s go with. Because we know the wage gap between a white woman and a black woman. Hispanic is completely different. But as a white woman, if you have such a program but you are attracting white women, are you changing the wage gap or are you just basically what you have done is advancing that group of women who’ve already.
Solita Roberts:
At a level that a black woman is not at, the Asian woman is not. So for me, it’s looking at it as a whole. If I’m saying I’m going to do this thing, then I might. Changing it for every woman that lives on earth that decides that I in my body or identify as a woman, am I making the changes there? And if you’re not, it’s a matter of, okay, what do I need to do? Where do I need to go? And I know when we talked about this, one of the things that you did said it’s like, I don’t want to be come across as the savior. Right. And. I like to think about it this way because. Yes, that’s that’s a fear. I understand. That’s a fear. And no one wants to feel as though you’re just kind of like intruding and say, okay, yes, I’m here. How can I help? I want to. But I like to think about it in terms of when we were younger in kindergarten, how we made friends. You didn’t walk up to someone and just say like, Hey, Carol, let me braid your hair. Let me do that. Let me do it. No, you didn’t. Right. You walked up to your friend, this new person that you’re seeing and you like and you want to be friends with and you, hey, how are you doing? Maybe sat at the table with them one time. He shared a snack. You know, you did little things to be able to then get to that space where you can sit down and have a full conversation where you can have playdates and you can come over.
Solita Roberts:
I look at the work to be able to advance women and be able to make sure that clientele and teams and everything is diverse the same way. At least that’s how I look at it. Right? And being able to OC noticing that your clientele is not diverse as it should be, noticing that when you are empowering women, you’re not empowering all women. What do I need to do? So you’re now deciding, what do I need to do? There’s a community, black community, maybe I know a leader within that space that’s doing amazing work. You don’t just walk in and at the same it’s like, Hey, I’m here to help you help women become thought leaders. Like, No, you don’t. You go in and you do the same thing. Have a conversation. How are you doing? Love the work that you’re doing. How can I support you? Have those. Those little seeds. Then you can have that bigger conversation. So you don’t come across as a savior. You don’t come across as someone who is. Yeah, I am privileged and I recognize my privilege. And so I’m going to walk in. It’s like, no, you don’t do that. At least that’s how I see it. And I hope that those that’s listening take it in the same vein as in go back to the days of the sandbox when you just made friends and learn a little bit more about someone so that you can become better supporting each other.
Carol Cox:
And Selita, I so appreciate these very tangible tips to make it not so much easy, but so that but in the sense that it is, it’s really about relationships. It’s really about caring about other people and about showing up for other people and providing that support to other people. In this case, it would be black women and women of color. And when I had mentioned to you about because there’s I’ve read the books, me and White Supremacy and, you know, and other things, and there’s this idea of as white women, we have historically gone into a place and like, Oh, I can save you all. Like, I got it. Like I got the answers, I got the solutions. I’m here now. And I definitely and Dianne and I are very cognizant that is definitely not what we want to come across at like as that. And so as you had mentioned this in our team meeting about showing up in those places where those women are, where black women and women of color are. And of course, that makes so much sense. And then I’m thinking back to where I have been showing up for the six months prior to that conversation. And listeners, you all know that I’m very honest and transparent. I was hitting the easy button. I was hitting the easy button. I got an invitation to speak somewhere.
Carol Cox:
It was mostly white women because that’s who their community was. That’s who their network was. I would say yes, because it was easy to show up, do my presentation, and then that’s where the clients came from. And I wasn’t doing the work. Not that it’s hard work, but it takes time, it takes focus and it takes intention to do it. And I wasn’t doing it. And that was reflected in the results or the lack of results that I was getting in Speaking Your Brand. And then I think back to say 2020 and our first couple of cohorts of the Thought Leader Academy were much more diverse. And I look back and think, Oh yes, because I was showing up on podcast hosted by black women because the relationships that I was building at the time and we hosted our Bravo Beyond Live Virtual Summit, which had a I think of the first summit that we had ten women speakers. I think all maybe nine of the ten were women of color. And then the second one, same thing. And so not only was I showing up in those places, but I was providing a platform to make sure to give that amplification of the voice of diverse women, which is, of course, what we want to be doing. But that but it takes intention and work.
Solita Roberts:
Yeah, it certainly does. And I think, as you said, the easy button, right. And sometimes this is where we talk about unconscious bias that you don’t notice that you’re doing it right. Because, yes, I’m amplifying women’s voices. Yes, I’m creating thought leaders. Yes, I’m doing that. Yes. I’m passionate about women’s history. Yes, I’m passionate about moving women’s women forward. But. And so you’re doing it right. You’re doing it. But it’s to be intentional and to notice you have to be that much more self aware when you’re a leader and when you’re saying that I want to be a leader, when you’re saying that I. Want to make changes in the world. You have to be intentional. You have to be self aware. What am I doing to change the group of people that I’m saying I want to change? Right. Is being intentional about that and knowing that to do to make that change, you have to do the hard work. You have or in some cases the uncomfortable work. Because I’m uncomfortable because I really don’t want to be the savior. I really don’t want to go out there and feel and show up and make it a person’s assume trying to be a savior. And so we hit the easy button and we kind of it’s like, yeah, I’m amplifying women’s voices. Yes, I get two or three women, black women and women of color that will come through.
Solita Roberts:
But you’re not conscious of the fact that if more women of color, more black women are not passing through your program, are you actually changing the voices and amplifying women’s voices? And when we talked about this a little bit offline, in that we look at it from different like you have a circle, you’re in the middle. And when you go into different industries, like you’re tapping women from different industries, they’re now going into their industry and then they’re making the changes. If we have four women of color in different industries, then they are able to go into those industries and they make the changes. What happens? A woman decides that, okay, I’m going to speak up on women’s rights and equality and she has the confidence because you have now given her the tools to be able to craft her signature talk. You’ve given her the tools to say, I want to do a TEDTalk talk. I want to go into companies and talk. I want to deliver presentations. And then she goes in because now she’s confident in getting in, knowing that she has the tools. Go into that organization, have that conversation with women, a diverse group of women who are now empowered to say, okay, what changes? What can I do to change how women are being perceived in society? What can I do differently? And so by just having one more voice in the room, we’re able to then change maybe ten women, 15 women, 20 women.
Solita Roberts:
And that’s the only way we can do it if we are being more intentional about the group of women that we’re attracting, the diversity of our clientele, of our team, just being intentional about it. Like I know as a black woman, yes, I understand the different struggles and challenges that we have and we’ve talked about it and we have to form communities sometimes that supportive of ourselves. Like we have to see that representation, women of color. We have the same the same issue. But to change the spectrum, to change how women are seen and viewed in society, we can’t do it alone, right? We can’t do it separately. We can’t do it from OC. You do it from women of color. You do it from a black woman, you do it from a white woman’s perspective. Like, No, we can’t. Collectively, that’s how we change it like this. This part of me gets very emotional whenever I go into. I think what happened to me once and I keep saying this, I’m going through a crisis of meaning where I’m trying to find my place and understanding as to how do I, as a woman and as a black woman, ensure that not only am I using my platform or my voice to create change, but able to empower other women to do you know, to do the same thing and show up for themselves.
Solita Roberts:
And that’s why style to impact is like it means a lot to me because I get to do that work there. But I look at it in terms of when we think of how we want to move forward, how do we see no more? How do we say collectively, we’re doing this? I, I was at, I was at. I’m digressing a little bit. I was at the Tory Burch Foundation Embrace Ambition Summit a couple of weeks ago. I don’t remember the Speaker, but she was not from the US. But the question that was asked, how is it they’re doing so well? I want to say it was Ireland. I don’t quite remember the country that when it comes to women coming together, when it comes to the advancement of women, that they’re so far ahead. And the question was asked, how come, you know, what are they doing differently and what is it we need to do here in in the US? And the question the answer was that the speaker gave we need to be a collective.
Solita Roberts:
We need to work together and we’re not doing that. Yes, I do understand that black and brown women, we do need that representation. We do need to see it because of history. We do need to see it. But we also need white. Women to come and say, hey, I’m going to show up with you based on your I don’t have the same experiences. I don’t have the same challenges as you, but I’m going to show up. So for me, when I show up to an event that says All Women Forward. And I look around the room. And that room is not a representation of every race. Every person that identifies as a woman. That bothers me. That makes me sad because you did not accomplish what you said you want to do. Moving all women forward. You just move the same set of women who are already privileged ahead of the game. So we, as black women and women of color, always feel as though we are running and we are playing catch up. Because if you have a large organization and you’re saying all all women forward and as a black woman, I walk into that room and I don’t see a representation of all women. Then I don’t feel as though you’re including me in the conversation.
Carol Cox:
Thank you, Selita.
Solita Roberts:
Yes.
Carol Cox:
So powerfully said. Really, I so appreciate you and you being willing to share this with not only with me, but with our listeners. I think it really is going to change so many of their perspectives, not only perspectives, but also their intentions. And I think back as an entrepreneur, as a podcast host, as a content creator, we we have all our all of our metrics, revenue sales, podcast downloads, email subscribers, whatever it happens to be. But do we have any metrics around where where my showing up as an entrepreneur, as a speaker, what do those groups look like? Where those communities look like? How can I show up, like you said, to stand side by side, not to take charge, not to take the lead, not to be the keynote speaker at a black women’s event. That’s that’s definitely not the place that I want to be. I want to be be there to amplify and to support the organizations that already exist. And again, what you mentioned is that how can I use the platform that I have built with the privilege that I have to help move some of those women, individual women, but also those organizations and businesses forward in any way that I can.
Solita Roberts:
Absolutely. And and that’s it. It’s you have to self awareness. For me it’s so critical in everything for me in everything that I do. And I know we, you know, there’s this notion that we need more love in the world. I honestly believe that we need to be a lot more self aware as individuals. If we are more self aware, then we are able to spread more love than we’re able to do and create the different changes that we want. So that’s a critical part for me is to be self aware, just sit down. It’s not about saying, okay, I need you to go out for everyone that’s listening. It’s not for me. I’m not saying, Oh, go out and and just change your entire spectrum. It’s like, sit down and ask yourself, What am I doing? What is my purpose? I’m trying to think of the the phrase that you use thought leader like power statement. I think it.
Carol Cox:
Is. Oh yes. Yeah. Thought leadership power.
Solita Roberts:
Statement. Exactly. Like create your power statement. And when you document your power statement, what are you saying that you want to do? What’s the issue that you’re seeing in the world? That you want to change and then make a list of how am I going to go about changing that? And I’ve already started. What do I need to do to change that? For if you’re a women empowerment group, if you will focus on Latinos or whatever section, are you doing the work to bring women together? Are you doing the work to make sure that you’re not just continuing certain levels of privilege and that’s it? Be self aware to sit down, be as self-aware as possible and say, okay. Because undoubtedly, yes, I understand revenue. Bottom line, yes, we want to make that. But when you think of your power statement, the thing that drives you at the end of the day, can you say you have successfully amplify women’s voices?
Carol Cox:
Well, not at this moment. And it is something that, again, I’m grateful for you, Selita, for having this conversation with us. And the words that I take away from this are self awareness, intention and collective effort. Yes, that is it. Selita listeners can find you on your website style to impact. I mentioned that you’re also active on LinkedIn and Instagram, so I will make sure to include those links in the show notes. And again, thank you so much for coming on the Speaking Your Brand podcast and for all of the conversations that we have behind the scenes and for the incredible important work that you do with the women that you help as well.
Solita Roberts:
Thank you very much for having me, Carol. I appreciate it. And I appreciate you being open to having a conversation and doing the work as well.
Carol Cox:
Thank you again to Selita for being willing to come on the podcast to have this conversation with me. If you need a stylist to find outfits for you, whether it’s for speaking engagements or just for your everyday work, she is the person to go to. The our clients who have worked with her have raved about her. You can find Selita on LinkedIn as well as a style to impact dot com. Until next time. Thanks for listening.
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